


Just a Beat of Your Wings

by i_write_shakespeare_not_disney



Series: Angsty/Fluffy/Smutty Klance One Shots from Tumblr [15]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angel Wings, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Laith, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Soulmates, Trauma, klance, mentioned hidge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 12:10:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15685173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney/pseuds/i_write_shakespeare_not_disney
Summary: Everyone has a pair of wings that reflects who they are. But nobody could see anyone else's except their soulmate's. Keith knew he had a soulmate out there, but he had no idea who they were. He would see everyone with their soulmates, and he knew he was missing out on something amazing.Until the day he sees them. A boy with wings so damaged, it's a miracle they still move. It's a miracle he's still here.Of course, it's not as easy as walking up to him and falling in love. In fact, the fear and hurt his soulmate went through shows Keith the importance of patience. And for someone like Lance? That patience is more than worth it.





	Just a Beat of Your Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for domestic abuse and implied abuse.

Looking in the mirror felt hollow. The feathers with streaks of red and black ruffled, looking sticky and tattered because of the rain. It was weird to think that _everyone_ had these, that everyone’s look different. Being unable to see the wings of others always made Keith feel like a freak when he stared in the mirror. Sure, he was meant to see someone else’s one day, but… when?

He was twenty years old, a junior in college, and he was watching everyone find their soulmate. Meanwhile Keith’s wings slowly began to curl around him a little more like he could hide in them. Of course he couldn’t- no one else could see his wings.

Still it was a little comforting when his wings fluttered around him to help him feel a little less alone.

Keith braced himself then expanded his wings, letting each side dart out quickly, shaking off most of the water. He grabbed the oil he used to keep his wings from smelling damp and gently slathered it onto each silky feathered wing. They were a little damp still, but Keith knew they’d dry quickly. He allowed them to flutter slightly, lifting him off the ground if he didn’t pay attention.

Supposedly, a person’s wings reflected who they were. Keith knew his wings looked scary. Red and black? The only thing that would’ve made them seem more eerie or demonic would’ve been if they weren’t feathered wings, and instead remained a leathery-membrane wing like a bat’s.

He wasn’t sure what that said about him. The wings hadn’t always been black. And they hadn’t always been red.

Keith distinctly remembered his wings were a softer shade of pink when he was young. And when his father died, they began to take on a shade of gray. Then, altogether, his wings began to darken. They became more red than pink, the gray became specks of black. When he’d been taken in by Shiro, his wings began to lighten again.

Then he found out Shiro was sick. And the wings darkened, this time with more black, like someone had spilled ink all over them. Now, they were a deep blood-red with voids of black. They were menacing. They reminded Keith each day that he was tired. That he was guarded.

A knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts. He opened the door and saw Shiro, smiling tiredly and he heard the flutter of wings getting rid of rain. He always wondered what Shiro’s wings looked like.

“Where’s Adam?” Keith asked, letting him in.

 “He’s getting our luggage. You sure you don’t mind us here? We can still get a hotel.”

“No, of course I don’t mind. I’ve been missing the company.” Shiro smiled at that and hugged him tightly. Keith could feel the feathers of his wings tickling his fingers. “Have you guys eaten?” Shiro nodded and sat down on the couch.

A few moments later, there was a knock on the door and Keith opened to let Adam in. There was a flutter of wings and a sprinkle of rain drops as he fanned his wings out before coming in, a duffel bag in each hand.

“Hey, Keith! How’ve you been?” he greeted, immediately dropping the bags and hugging Keith. “God, we’ve missed you!” Keith laughed and hugged him back before untangling himself.

Adam was an affectionate guy once he got used to you, and while Keith appreciated that, he also didn’t like getting touched too much or too often. Which Shiro usually had to remind him of.

Keith really had missed them, and he loved Shiro and Adam; they were his family. But after a couple hours he remembered why he had to get away from them with his own apartment to begin with. It was no secret that Shiro and Adam were soul mates. As soon as they’d met, Keith had seen the wonder and relief on their faces. The nervous way they began talking to each other, knowing they belonged together, but not knowing anything about each other.

Keith believed in love and soulmates because of them. Because of how well they fit together, and how happy they were. But it also made him feel lonely.

The way they touched so nonchalantly had something so intimate about it, Keith always felt the need to look away, feeling like he was intruding. Even if it was just a two second whisper or a quick tuck of a hair strand, Keith felt like he was looking at something too private for him.

It reminded him again and again that he didn’t have his soulmate. That he had no idea how to find them. His wings began to curl in around him, providing the ghost of the comfort he wanted and didn’t have.

“We should go to the mall tomorrow,” Shiro suggested. “We can eat at that place in the food court you like.”

Keith smiled, knowing that Shiro could read him like an open book, knowing he was trying to make him feel better, feel included.

“Yeah! Sure. We can do that,” he answered. “You guys can take my bedroom, I’ll sleep here on the couch. Just no freaky shit, or your washing the sheets.” Shiro and Adam simultaneously turned the same shade of red despite their different complexions and Keith couldn’t help but laugh.

\---

The next day, the three of them watched movies on the television for most of the morning. They asked Keith about his classes and how he was faring. They asked about his friends- Keith reminded them that they were more like acquaintances. They asked about how he felt living on his own.

Keith tried to be lighthearted about it, insisting that he enjoyed his time alone and liked the space he had to think and breathe, which was true… he just left out the part where sometimes he felt so lonely and forgotten that he would end up watching TV numbly all day.

It wasn’t that Keith didn’t like people. He didn’t mind them, really. It was just hard to build friendships. Keith was blunt, he was straightforward, he was honest, and that didn’t tend to fare well with others. It was easier to keep to himself, easier to just be on his own.

Somehow, Keith managed to embellish enough to the point where Adam and Shiro looked genuinely happy for him. Maybe even a little relieved.

Around lunchtime, the three of them went to the mall downtown. Keith had never been comfortable there with the varying stores of fancy brand names that he couldn’t even _try_ to walk into because there was no way he could ever afford anything. It was slightly intimidating seeing other people walking around with several bags in hands, and Keith wondered how much spending went into shopping sometimes.

Still, this was the only mall that had Keith’s favorite kimchi stew. Keith expanded his wings a bit to get a little bit of a space bubble as people passed by. He got a few annoyed looks when people bumped their wings with his, but Keith didn’t care. He just wanted to get his food and enjoy his time with his family.

While they ate, Keith found himself slowly forgetting about school and people and loneliness. He was just happy being with his brother. He was happy joking with them and laughing about the most inconsequential things.

Keith kind of hated his laugh. It was loud and he knew it was a little annoying. It was embarrassing. But he loved being made to laugh, and he couldn’t help it with Shiro and Adam. Especially when Adam started doing his impression of Shiro, much to the latter’s dismay. Instead of holding back, he allowed himself to laugh without reserve and let himself enjoy that.

He heard a clatter and nearly everyone in the seating area turned to look. Keith only saw a dark, heavyset guy staring wide-eyed at nothing in particular before smiling awkwardly and picking up a few trays. Keith frowned and looked away, not wanting to be part of the many people staring and making the guy feel more uncomfortable.

“Alright, I’m gonna head to the bathroom. Do mind going to pay, Keith? I’ll give you my card.” Shiro pulled out his wallet and Keith took it. “Be right back.”

Shiro left and Adam stood up with the bag of what little leftovers they were taking back as Keith left to go to the counter and pay the bill. By the time he was getting back, Shiro and Adam were waiting by a kiosk. Keith pulled out his phone to check the time, and when he looked up again, there was a girl with large glasses looking at him uncertainly, hesitating in her steps like she was deciding whether or not to go near Keith.

Shiro and Adam noticed Keith’s confusion and looked over at the girl who huffed and walked toward him, stuffing her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. “Uh. Hi. Um. My friend… I think-”

“Can I help you?” Keith muttered, feeling his wings beginning to creep around him uncomfortably, wanting to hide.

The girl’s nose scrunched and she scoffed. “There’s no way Lance- whatever. My friend-”

“Pidge!” The heavyset guy from earlier came up beside him, looking panicked. “It’s a no-go.”

“Wha- really? I’m already here!”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and considered expanding his wings to get the strangers away. “Um. I’m gonna… go now.” He walked away from the two as quickly as he could, and rejoined Shiro and Adam.

“What was that?” Adam asked.

“I don’t have a clue.”

“Weird. Well, I want to stop by Starbucks before we go,” Shiro said. “And Adam wanted to stop at the Disney store for a gift for his niece.”

“Alright,” Keith said with a shrug. They stopped at a large Starbucks kiosk before they went in search of the Disney store. None of them were familiar with this mall, so it took a while before they realized they were on the wrong floor and found the Disney store.

It looked incredibly crowded, so Keith told the pair that he’d wait outside for them. As they went in, Keith leaned on the railing and looked down at the floor below. It was pretty fascinating to watch people walking along. Keith tried to imagine all the different wings folded in tightly to everyone’s backs. He wondered what colors there were, what textures, what types. He didn’t think it was fair that so many people were so diverse and Keith would never be able to see it.

His eyes skimmed the crowds and he was getting so hypnotized by the movement, he was starting to fall asleep, leaning against his hand.

And then he saw someone walking out of a store talking animatedly with their entire body. Their hands, their face, their _wings._

Keith froze and stared, wondering if he was mistaking it. But no. They were there, large wings with tattered feathers in different shades of blue folded in neatly to his back, fluttering and twitching slightly as the person spoke. They expanded a little, enough for Keith to see how damaged the wings were. The wings were about 50% deplumed, and what feathers there remained looked frayed. The membrane looked scabbed and bruised.

Keith noticed the girl with the glasses and the guy from the restaurant beside him, both of them talking to him with uncertain expressions.

There was no way Keith was going to be able to wait on Shiro and Adam to get back. He didn’t even trust himself to be fast enough to make it to the escalators. So he did the next best thing- he jumped over the railing.

His wings expanded to help him land gently, though he did startle enough people that others began to look over. Including the boy with the wings and his friends.

His eyes widened, and Keith saw him begin to retreat. The other guy grabbed his arm and tried to stop him. The girl started gesturing frantically, and Keith started walking. He brought his wings in tightly and began rushing past people, his eyes locked on the boy with frightened eyes and fluttering, damaged wings.

As he got closer, he slowed, not wanting to frighten the boy any more.

“Lance, buddy, come on. This is a great thing!” the other guy said.

The girl frowned and looked at Keith. “He’s… he’s nervous,” she explained.

Keith looked back at the boy- Lance- and took in the tattered wings. Of course. Wings were a reflection of self. If his wings were that damaged, it meant Lance had been treated that way maybe for a long time or maybe just that badly. Keith took a step back. He could feel his wings pulsing, urging him to get closer, to meet his soulmate.

“I won’t hurt you,” Keith whispered.

“Lance, just talk to him,” the guy said.

“Y-You can see my wings,” Lance whispered. Keith felt a shock go through his body at the sound of his soulmate’s voice. He nodded slowly. Lance gulped and stood a little taller. His posture suggested confidence, but the look in his eyes suggested the opposite. His wings spreading slightly. “They’re not very nice, are they?”

Keith took in the patches of feathers in all shades of blue and the scraped leathery membrane. He took in the bright blue of the boy’s eyes, the dark skin, the soft brown of his hair, the gentle curve of his nose and sharp edge of his jaw.

He was beautiful. He was frightened and wary, and his wings were damaged in a way that hurt Keith more than anything had before, but he was beautiful.

“You’ve been hurt,” Keith noted.

Lance scoffed and spread his wings out further, showing Keith a few tears in the membrane, and Keith noted how one wing rested a little crookedly near the top bone. Something fierce and protective surged through Keith, even though he didn’t know this guy. “You think?”

“Um… you two should talk,” the girl said. Keith thought he recalled her name was Pidge. “Lance, me and Hunk will be over here, okay?” Lance frowned, but he nodded.

Lance tucked his wings back in and crossed his arms. Keith took a hesitant step forward. “Your feathers are blue,” Keith noted.

“Yours have black,” Lance responded. “What’s your name?”

“Keith.” Lance hummed and looked him up and down. “Do you… want to sit down?” Keith gestured at a bench and waited for Lance to nod before he sat down. Lance sat too, but he kept a fair amount of space between them. “So… we’re soulmates.”

“I’m sorry you have such a fucked up soulmate,” Lance whispered.

Keith frowned and shook his head. “You know what your wings tell me?” he asked. Lance rolled his eyes. “They tell me that you’re strong. Because you took all that hurt and you’re still here.” Lance looked over at him, and Keith felt a little breathless with the way those eyes bore into him. “They tell me that you have a beautiful soul.”

Lance’s mouth twitch slightly, like he wanted to smile. “You’re a smooth talker, Keith.”

“No, I’m really not,” Keith said, letting his wings curl around himself a bit. “I’m horrible. I have no clue how to talk to people. I’m known to be abrasive and awkward. It just… feels easy to talk to you.” Keith gulped and tried to meet Lance’s eyes. “I’ve looked for you for a long time. I thought I’d never find you.”

Lance stared back at him with wide eyes and then looked away. “My wings don’t… disgust you?”

“No!” Keith insisted. “Lance-” Suddenly his phone started ringing, making Lance jump slightly. Keith apologized and answered. “Hello?”

“Keith, where the hell did you go? I thought you were waiting outside?” Shiro said in his ear.

Keith scratched his head and chuckled. “Um… yeah. Sorry. Funny story, I’ll um… explain in a bit. Stay by the store, I’ll be there in a bit.” He hung up and stared at his screen for a moment. “I… have to go. Can I see you again?” he asked hesitantly.

Lance it his lip. Keith knew Lance could feel the pulsing of their wings. They were drawn together, they were… meant to be together. “Yeah,” he finally answered. Keith smiled and held out his phone. Lance was careful not to touch his fingers as he took it and put in his number.

When Keith got the phone back, he pressed call and Lance frowned as his phone started ringing. He raised an eyebrow at Keith. “Just making sure it’s not a fake number.” Lance rolled his eyes, but he smiled and watched Keith as he stood. “I’ll text you, okay?” Lance nodded. He walked past Hunk and Pidge who were waiting anxiously, watching the interaction, fluttering about like only soulmates could. He waved awkwardly at them and tried not to feel watched as he walked away.

He made it back to the Disney store with a dopey smile on his face. Adam looked at Keith over his glasses and raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“I saw his wings,” Keith said softly. Shiro and Adam gaped at him, but Keith could only look down where Lance was now standing with his friends, his frayed wings beating weakly.

\---

“Explain this again,” Shiro insisted. “You were just… standing there, you saw him… and you _jumped?”_

Keith sighed and tossed his phone up, catching it as it came down. “Yup.”

“But you’re not with him,” Adam noted.

“Obviously.”

Something- or rather someone- hit his stomach and Keith yelped. “Keith! This is a big deal! You just met your soulmate! Why aren’t you freaking out more?” Shiro exclaimed.

“Why aren’t you _with him?”_ Adam added. “When Shiro and I found each other, we didn’t want to part the whole day.” Keith snorted, remembering perfectly well how enraptured the two had been right off the bat. “Keith!”

Keith sighed and shrugged, looking at his phone. He had yet to text Lance, but he also didn’t want to bug him. “He’s… hesitant.” Adam raised an eyebrow. Rubbing the back of his neck, Keith said, “Lance’s wings… were really messed up. He’s been hurt a lot. He was scared to even let me sit with him. So no, I wasn’t going to force him to stay around me.”

Shiro and Adam shared a look then returned their attention to him. Keith hated when they did that. It was such a couple-y thing to do, the whole sharing an entire conversation with a glimpse. He didn’t want to go into detail with Lance’s wings. He felt like that was only for him to know about. Not because he was embarrassed, but because Lance obviously felt self-conscious about his wings.

“How… do you feel?” Shiro asked.

“Um… normal, I think. Stuck, I guess. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do now. I barely know him, I just know I’m meant to be with him. It doesn’t feel like enough to start a relationship from.”

Adam sat beside him and gestured to his cell phone. “You got his number right? Why don’t you just… text him. See if he’ll go to coffee with you tonight. Get to know him.” Keith hesitated, staring at the blank screen of his phone. Adam put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Keith, I promise it’s not as scary as you think. Once you’re there, talking to him, it’ll just flow.”

Keith took a deep breath and nodded. He unlocked his phone and went to Lance’s contact to begin a message.

_Hey, it’s Keith. I was wondering if you wanted to get some coffee and talk later tonight? Or whatever you wanna do._

He sent it before he could second guess it and began to hide himself in his wings with each passing second. It seemed like everyone was holding their breaths, waiting for the buzz of the phone to indicate a response.

Suddenly, the buzz came, along with his screen lighting up from the incoming message. Keith struggled to unlock his phone with shaky fingers.

_I don’t like coffee much. But I like ice cream. Baskin Robins on Bentley Rd @ 7?_

Adam smiled widely. “Looks like you’ve got a date with your soulmate!”

\---

Keith waited outside the Baskin Robins. He didn’t want to go inside and be stood up, and it would be easier to walk away if he didn’t go inside to begin with.

He began to panic about fifteen past seven. Then he saw a pair of red Converse come to a stop in front of him. He looked up and stood when he saw Lance. Again, his wings started pulsing, trying to urge Keith closer, but he fought it off.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Lance bit his lip and stuffed his hands in an army green jacket he was wearing. “Sorry I’m late. I was… getting cold feet.”

“That’s okay,” Keith said. He was here. His soulmate was here. “Let’s go inside.” They walked in and stared at the ice cream uncertainly, a fair amount of space between them before they ordered and sat down with their respective ice cream.

Lance had gotten blackberry cheesecake. Keith went for the daiquiri ice.

“You _like_ that flavor?” Lance asked, watching Keith scoop a large amount into his mouth. Keith nodded and Lance furrowed his eyebrows as he chuckled. “So…. You’re not gonna ask about the….” He trailed off, but the soft, arrhythmic beat of his wings spoke for him.

Keith skimmed them over again and then settled his gaze on Lance’s eyes. “I mean, I’m curious. I’m worried. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me something you don’t want to tell me about.” Lance hummed and took a spoonful of ice cream. “Can I ask one thing, though?” Lance raised an eyebrow. “Are you safe? Going home and everything, are you… safe now?”

Lance laughed shortly through his nose. “Yeah. I’m safe.” Keith nodded. “Do you know the symbolism behind red?” Keith hesitated, wondering if this was a trick question. Red was relatively easy to decode. “It symbolizes fire, rage, anger, passion, love, seduction, danger.”

“Very extreme opposite symbolism for one color,” Keith muttered, his wings rustling anxiously.

Lance nodded and poked at his ice cream. “So where do you fall? Why are your wings such a concentrated red? Are you full of passionate love or… raging violence?”

Keith winced and stared at the table, his wings curling around him unconsciously. “Um. I’m not sure, really. I think they kind of go hand in hand.” Lance narrowed his eyes and stared at Keith expectantly. “I just mean- for example, I got into a lot of fights in school. But they were usually because someone was using something against me. My family, my past, my talents. I’ve told you, I come off as abrasive, but if you get me to talk about something I’m really into, then I’ll talk for hours about it. I don’t love a lot of people, but the people I do love, I love them with everything I have. And I’m willing to do anything to protect them.”

Lance thought that over for a moment, the two of them falling into silence. Then, after a while, Lance nodded. “I guess that makes sense. So who are those few people you love, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Keith smiled and took a breath. “The first person I ever loved was my dad. He died when I was eight.” Lance hummed and Keith noticed his eyes dart to his wings. Keith knew he was looking at the black splatters on his wings. “Then I loved the agent that took my case in the foster care system. She was always making sure I was okay, and she made sure she was absolutely certain I was safe in a foster home before putting me in one. It wasn’t like on TV where I bounced around with bad families or anything. And I think it was thanks to her and how much she cared.” Lance’s posture began to relax a little. The stiffness in his spine and mostly his wings began to fade.

“After that, I found Shiro. He took me in. Adopted me permanently when I was fourteen. He’s like my older brother, and… I’d do anything for him.” Keith furrowed his eyebrows and stared at the table, feeling a knot in his throat. “He’s sick. Something that’s making his muscles deteriorate slowly. We’ve been trying to just live normally, but… I’m terrified of losing him.”

“He’s all the family you’ve got, isn’t he?” Lance asked, his voice heavy with understanding and compassion.

Keith cleared his throat and ruffled his hair anxiously. “Well, I have Adam. But he’s Shiro’s soulmate, and I don’t really know what either of us would do if Shiro…. But Adam’s great. He’s the other person I came to love. He’s really funny, and he makes Shiro really happy.” Before Lance could ask more about his family or about Shiro and his illness, Keith directed the conversation to him. “What about you? The people you love?”

Lance smiled. It was a bright, honest smile full of affection. His entire face softened at the question. “I love a lot of people. I love Hunk and Pidge. They’re my best friends, and I don’t know where I’d be without them. I love my siblings. Veronica, Marco, Luis. Marco’s oldest, then Vero, then Luis, then me. I have a bunch of memories with each of them, and I just… they really are the best siblings I could’ve asked for. I love my mom so much. She’s so strong. And my step-dad. Because he didn’t hesitate to take us all in and he’s always treated us like his own. I love my abuelita. She’s the sweetest, most generous person you could ever meet.” Lance chuckled. “I love my kindergarten teacher. I still catch up with her sometimes. And my dog. She’s a sweetheart. My godmother is amazing. She lives back in Cuba, but when I was younger, I’d visit and she’d always, _always_ make sure to see me when we arrived and right before we came back.”

Keith smiled as Lance talked, captivated by the affection in his voice as he spoke. It did make Keith wonder why his wings were the way they were if he was evidently so happy with his life and the people in it. He loved a big family, and it was clear that family loved him back. Still, Keith didn’t want to ask if Lance wasn’t divulging in the information. Instead, he took what he was given and used it to figure Lance out.

Adam had been right. Once he was there, it _was_ easy to just keep talking. He found out Lance loved soccer- he used to play it, but now he just loved watching it- and dancing. He loved food, but his favorite thing was dessert. He found out a lot of little things about Lance from what they talked about to what Keith managed to observe. Like how his bent wing tended to twitch randomly, but if Lance was really into what he was talking about, both wings would twitch along with the rapid movement of his hands. Or the fact that he was always moving his leg or his foot.

He learned his favorite shows, his sense of humor, how he’d met Pidge and Hunk, had gotten into a debate about whether pineapple belonged on pizza, over personal hygiene and haircuts, and found out that Lance liked to use face masks. He claimed that it started when his sister bribed him into a spa day with her because she wanted to vent without being the only one wearing green goop on her face, but something told Keith it hadn’t taken much convincing to get Lance to do it.

Keith tried his best in keeping his laughter contained; he didn’t want to embarrass himself. Lance was good at making him laugh. He was good at impressions and funny voices as well as funny faces. It was funny how quickly Keith had gotten so comfortable around him.

The entire time, his wings were pulsing, beating gently, the feather ruffling and smoothing down every now and then. They reacted to Lance.

“Are you surprised?” Keith asked after they’d lapped back into a comfortable silence for a while. Lance tilted his head. “That I’m your soulmate.”

Lance thought that over and shrugged. “I… don’t know yet. I’ll let you know when I figure that out. You?”

Keith smiled and looked down at his empty cup. “No, but… because I never thought about it. I never let myself. I was always looking for you, but I didn’t want to make myself think of what I was looking for because I was scared I’d miss out on you.” Keith shrugged. “Part of me was scared I’d never find you.”

When he looked up, he was surprised to see a worried look on Lance’s face. Everything had been going perfectly well. Had he said something wrong?

“It’s… getting late. I should get home. My mom doesn’t sleep until I get home.” Lance stood up, and Keith followed after, insisting on walking him to his car.

They left the shop and Keith followed him to a black Ford truck, but that was about as much as he knew about cars. “Um, hey,” Keith said, hoping to stop him before he got in. Lance turned to him with that same worried look. His battered wings rustled in the breeze, spreading a bit before tucking back in quickly. “I had a great time talking to you. Besides Shiro and Adam, I think that’s the longest conversation I’ve ever held with someone.” Lance smiled and shifted on his feet. “Um… I’d really like to see you again-”

“Keith, I….” Lance sighed and rubbed his face with one hand. His body started tensing again, and he kept glancing around like he was scared. “I know we’re s-soulmates and all, and I had a good time too. But….” He shut his eyes and grimaced before he opened his eyes and took a breath. “Right now… I don’t think I’m in a space where I can… be in a relationship. Or go on dates. I… Part of me is just ready to bolt, and that’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to me. I don’t want to force myself into this just because I know we’re supposed to be together. I-I’m not ready to-”

“Whoa, Lance, hey,” Keith interrupted, trying to be as gentle as possible because he could see Lance’s wings straining to spread. He held his hands up in a placating gesture and smiled. “I get it. It’s okay. I don’t want you to feel forced, so if you don’t want to go on dates or be in a relationship, that’s okay. I can wait for when you feel ready.”

Lance’s eyebrows bunched together like he was in pain or maybe just frustrated. “That’s the thing. I don’t know when I’ll be ready….”

“Oh,” Keith said, understanding what he was saying. He nodded and shrugged. “That’s alright. But I looked for you for a long time, so… do you think it’s okay if we’re friends? We can hang out with groups, or… y’know pay for our own stuff if we hang out alone.” Keith gave him a sad smile. “I do want you to be part of my life now that I found you. If that’s okay.”

Lance stared at him, eyebrows furrowed, eyes darting back and forth between Keith’s. “You’re not… mad?”

Keith scoffed. “No. I’m kind of relieve you clarified that now instead of… you know dragging it out.” He shrugged. “And I won’t be mad if you don’t want to be friends either. A little sad maybe, but… I won’t be angry.”

Lance’s lips parted and then he began to smile. “Well, if you’re gonna be sad, I don’t want to say no,” he said playfully. Keith smiled. “Friends sounds good. Me and my friends usually go bowling on Saturdays, so… if you want to join us that’d be cool. You can bring Shiro and Adam too.”

Keith smiled and nodded. Lance chuckled and unlocked his car. Keith started to step back so he could turn on the engine and leave, but he stopped when Lance turned to him and said, “The answer’s yes. I’m very surprised you’re my soulmate.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what had made him decide so suddenly, and why he was surprised, but Lance was already in his truck and ready to drive away.

\---

Sure enough, by the following Saturday, Keith went bowling for the first time. Pidge’s brother and Hunk’s cousin came as well, so it didn’t feel like a weird triple-date thing. It felt like a group of friends, and Keith could tell it helped settle Lance.

He became a little more outspoken than he was one-on-one. He was loud, and he made countless jokes, and he didn’t seem so coiled up and anxious. He seemed relaxed. He greeted Shiro and Adam with an easy, “I heard a lot about you both, it’s great to meet you.” And the couple immediately took a liking to him. They found him “charismatic.”

After that, Saturday bowling became a routine. They’d eat chili-fries and mozzarella sticks and drank bottomless sodas. Then whoever lost at bowling paid for the food at the winning team’s food joint of choice. There were times when Pidge’s brother or Hunk’s cousin wouldn’t go. Shiro and Adam couldn’t come each weekend because they only visited every couple of weeks.

But each weekend, Keith joined the group, and they also seemed to have taken a liking to him. They didn’t expect him to talk a lot, but they still managed to include him in conversations.

One Saturday, a few months later with summer around the corner, Keith was driving back from having dropped Pidge then Hunk off at their houses. It was easier to carpool, and he and Pidge had won that day’s game of bowling.

As he neared Lance’s house, Keith put his car in park and looked over at him. “Can I ask you something?” Lance looked at him with bright, innocent eyes, curious and friendly. Keith hesitated, knowing that this could easily set their friendship back or maybe bring them closer. “I said I wanted to wait for you to feel comfortable talking to me about your wings. And I stand by that,” he said quickly noticing the way Lance began receding into himself. “I’m not asking you to tell me now. I just… wanted to know if you’ve thought about it. If I can expect a day in which you do tell me.”

“What does it matter?” Lance asked. “If you’re not disgusted by them and if we’re soulmates anyway, why do you need to know why they look the way they do?”

Keith tried to meet his eyes, and when he finally did he offered him a smile. “Because I want to understand you, Lance. I want to know what I can do to help you feel comfortable and what not to do so I don’t fuck this up. If you don’t want to tell me yet, that’s okay. But do you think you’d be able to one day?”

Lance stared at him for a moment and then slowly nodded. “I think so. But not tonight.”

 Keith nodded in understanding and fought the urge to grab his hand. He knew Lance didn’t like being touched. At least not by Keith. Hunk and Pidge could hug and tug and nudge and grab him as they pleased and Lance didn’t mind it. But he always flinched if Keith got too close, or he’d ask Keith if he didn’t mind stepping back a bit. If it was a particularly good day, Lance would instead ask if it was okay he was sitting so close and their shoulders would touch.

“Okay. That’s all I wanted to know.” Lance smiled slightly and opened the door. “Sleep well,” Keith said before Lance shut the door.

“You too, Keith.”

Keith smiled and waited for him to get into his house before he drove away.

Halfway through the week, once Keith had gotten out of his classes, he got a text from Lance.

_Are you free tonight?_

Keith stared at the text uncertainly because Lance didn’t usually ask to hang out during the week out of the blue. If they met up during the week, Lance would mention it on Saturday so Keith could plan for it. An impromptu meetup was… new.

_Yea, why?_

_I wanna take you somewhere. I’ll pick you up when I get off work._

Keith couldn’t help the anxiety that gripped him. He kept bouncing back and forth between the best ideas- like Lance picking him up for a surprise first date that would end with them sharing their first kiss- or the worst- like Lance panicking after the last thing Keith asked and now he was going to cut him out of his life. He didn’t know what to expect, and he was getting slightly nauseous.

He ended up calling Shiro in hopes of him being able to calm Keith down. Which he did, at least while they talked. Adam, ever the voice of reason, assured him it should be a good sign especially since they’d be riding together and not separately.

Then Lance messaged him he was on his way, and all the nervousness came crashing back, making it hard to focus or stop pacing.

When Lance arrived, Keith went out to greet him and got into the car. He couldn’t help but notice Lance’s rigid posture or the awkwardness of their small talk as they drove.

After a while, they came across an open field with a jogging path. “Come on,” Lance said, getting out of the car. Keith frowned and followed. They walked beside each other and Keith let Lance guide him down the jogging path until they came along the outskirts of some trees. Lance walked around them with Keith following behind.

Then they came across a bayou large enough to be confused for a lake. Cattails and moss and lilyponds covered the water that was probably not safe to swim in. But Lance didn’t make a move for the water. He just plopped down on the dirt and wrapped his arms around his knees. Keith did the same, angled to face him and managing enough distance so their wings wouldn’t touch.

“How’d you find this place?” Keith asked.

“I came here with someone. We were just running around the field, but we got curious and decided to explore. I thought it was beautiful here. She thought it was gross and we left.”

“She?”

“Girlfriend,” Lance said. “Back when I was… maybe sixteen? Fifteen?” Keith nodded in understanding, but he didn’t really understand it. What was the point of dating someone you knew you weren’t going to end up with? “I’ve been thinking about what you said Saturday. Telling you about my wings.”

“You don’t have to, I don’t want you to feel pressured-”

“No, I don’t. I just… feel like it’s okay to do it now. You’ve been really patient, and really respectful about my boundaries, and… I really appreciate that.” Keith managed a smile and then looked out where the sun was setting. “My wings used to be white. Really soft and feathery. My mom liked to pet them so I could go to sleep when I was a little kid. She couldn’t see them, but she liked to feel them.”

“White… is innocence, right? Purity. We all had white when we were kids.”

Lance nodded. “Yeah. But I think mine stayed white for longer. I’d keep getting asked what color my wings turned into and I’d say ‘They’re still white.’ And everyone would look at me funny, like they were supposed to change already.” Lance took a breath and ran a hand through his hair. Keith saw his wings twitch anxiously. They stayed quiet for a second, Keith waiting patiently for Lance to feel ready to keep talking. “The first time I remember getting hurt… the day my wings started to change….” Another breath. “I was six I think. Veronica was fourteen. Marco was eighteen, so he wasn’t there. And Luis was… eight? Yeah, he’s two years older.” Lance sniffed. “Veronica had been out with friends, I think for the first time. My parents told her to come home at ten, but… something happened and she got home a lot later. My dad didn’t like being disobeyed, and he was… scary. That’s how I remember thinking of him.

“He’d fight with my mom a lot, but Veronica and Marco always kept me and Luis from seeing it, trying to distract us. But I always wished I could defend my mom. I was so certain… that if my dad saw us being afraid of him he’d stop.” His wings flapped weakly. Keith looked at him, but Lance was looking out at the lake. “Vero came home and I was supposed to be asleep, but I was watching the clock. I heard him using that voice. That calm, angry voice. And then I heard him yell and I heard my sister cry and my mom yelling for him to calm down. I heard- I don’t know if you’ve ever heard a belt being whizzed through the air, but it sounds like a whip almost.” Keith shuddered. “I heard that. Then I heard the impact at the same time I heard my sister shriek. Then again and again.”

Lance was holding back tears at this point. The memories were hard for him. Keith could hear it in the tremor of his voice. And with what little he knew about Lance, he had an idea of where this was going.

“I couldn’t take it. Hearing my big sister screaming and crying like that, begging my dad to stop. She’d always protected me, she played with me, she taught me how to play video games. I was her favorite, even more than Luis, and she was always….” Lance let out a shaky breath and sniffed, forcing himself to stay together. “I had to protect her this time.

“I ran out of my room and saw my mom crying, hiding her face. I saw my dad bringing down the belt on my sister. Vero was crouched on the ground against the wall, shielding herself as best she could. And I just moved. I spread my wings around her and hugged her. The belt hit my wings instead. Maybe it made him angrier that I interfered. I thought he’d stop, but… he just hit me harder.

“Veronica kept trying to push me away, she kept asking me what I was doing, and my when my mom saw me, she tried to pull my dad away.”

“You were six when that happened?” Keith whispered. Lance nodded.

He pulled at his wings and gestured to the engrained scars, long healed but still visible. “I was bleeding for a while. Veronica never stopped hugging me as my mom tried to heal me. She wouldn’t stop crying either. Ever since then, she would call me her hero.” Lance smiled. “’ _Donde esta mi heroe? Como le fue en la escuela a mi heroe?’_ Where’s my hero, how was school for my little hero. She still does it sometimes.”

Lance wiped at his eyes and began poking at the dirt beneath him. “After that, I became a target for my dad. He’d hit me, or he’d hit my mom or sister, knowing I’d intervene. Marco had left the house as soon as he could, so he couldn’t stop me. Luis preferred to hide in closets or under the bed. Eventually, he just came for me when he pleased.” Lance shrugged. “Before I knew it, my wings were a midnight blue. Indigo, I think is the right color. When I turned seven, my dad left my mom. Veronica began taking care of us so she could work full time. My abuelita came to live with us for a while, but she couldn’t do much in terms of cleaning. She liked to bake though. And she always made us scarves and hats for the winter.”

Lance shook his head, and this time tears started to streak down his cheeks. “She had moved in with my grandpa. He wasn’t a very good guy. I try to just focus on the good things with my abuelita. Then they got deported when I was almost eleven. We didn’t have the money to visit as often as when I’d been younger, so…. My abuelita passed away when I was eleven and we couldn’t make it to the funeral. I think what I hated most about everything was that… I felt guilty because I was… relieved they weren’t living with us anymore.”

Keith frowned and looked at Lance in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Lance took a deep breath and his face crumpled as more tears fell down his cheeks. “I was so… relieved to be rid of my grandpa. I missed my abuelita, I was heartbroken when she got sick and when she passed away, but… I never wanted to see my grandfather again. I never got to say goodbye, but I also never had to see him and I never knew how to handle that mix of emotions. My wings took on a weird purplish color mixing with-” Lance pointed at a clump of feathers. “that blue. The purple faded and eventually this was left.”

There was a part of Keith that wanted to ask why Lance had felt so differently about each of his grandparents. But something in his core, something in his wings told him Lance would’ve explained if he wanted to. So Keith didn’t press. Instead, Lance continued to explain, telling Keith about the people he’d dated in hopes of finding someone who would care for him without feeling like they had to see his wings to be happy. He didn’t want them to see his wings. But each one left because everyone was in search of their soulmate. And each one left Lance’s heart a little more broken.

“I mean, it’s not all bad. Like I said, I love my friends, and they’re amazing people.” Keith nodded in agreement. Hunk and Pidge were really great. “And when my stepdad came into the picture, everything was better. My mom said that she had been able to see my dad’s wings at first, but that eventually she couldn’t anymore. And when he’d left, she thought she was supposed to be alone. But she saw someone’s wings again and… it was my stepdad. And he’s done nothing but treat her like a queen. And he’s cared for all of us, even Marco even though he was an adult already.”

“I thought we only had one soulmate,” Keith said.

Lance shrugged. “I think people’s souls can change. And that changes your soulmate. That’s why I wasn’t really… looking for you.” He shrugged again and rested his head on his knees. “So… that’s all the damage. And this is where I am now.”

Keith nodded and looked at Lance’s wings. “What do all these shades of blue symbolize? You said you knew the meaning of the red in mine. What about yours?”

Lance touched the few feathers he had lightly. “Some of them, like the indigo, I think that was sincerity and justice. Blue overall is stability and loyalty. The different shades vary between suffering, mourning, or hope and compassion.” Lance shrugged. “I think if they weren’t so damaged, if they had all their feathers, then they’d be a whole palette of blues. They could have looked so nice.” Lance traced a patch of his wings that had no feathers and remained a rough section of tender looking muscle.

Keith felt his wings trying to spread to encase Lance. He had an urge to shield and protect him. Keith wanted to hold him and show Lance that he could be safe with him. He thought maybe Lance noticed it too, because he raised an eyebrow in question and maybe a challenge.

A challenge Keith wanted to accept.

He pulled himself up on his knees and scooted closer to Lance who watched him with caution. The sun had long since left them encased in moonlight and cricket chirps. Keith held up a hand near Lance’s face and whispered, “Do you mind if I touch your face?” Lance kept his eyes steady on him before he leaned forward a bit, just enough until his cheek brushed with the tips of Keith’s fingers. “I need you to say yes or no,” Keith said softly.

“I don’t mind,” Lance answered.

Keith bit his lip and let his palm spread along Lance’s cheek, his thumb swiping back and forth. “I was right,” he said. “When I said that your wings told me you were strong.” Keith though of everything he’d been told. Of the times Lance had been beaten and bruised and hurt and broken. Of how it reflected on his wings, but it didn’t make him any less handsome, any less magnificent. “I’m so lucky to have such an incredible soulmate,” Keith murmured, hoping his voice held the sincerity he needed it to hold.

Lance shut his eyes and sighed, pressing into the hand on his face. “This feels nice,” he said in a low voice.

“Lance,” Keith said softly. Lance opened his eyes, sapphire gems boring into Keith’s soul in a way that made it hard to breathe. “I want you to know that I will never hurt you. And I will do everything in my power to never hurt you for as long as you’re in my life. I know you’re scared to let me in too much, but I want you to know you have nothing to fear from me. I’m temperamental, and I can be stubborn, but I hope you know that will never mean you’d be in danger around me.” Lance stared at him, not saying a word. He looked a little unsure, a little hopeful and afraid at the same time. Keith smiled and stroked his cheek again. “Relax. I’m not asking you to date me. I’m happy being your friend, and I’m happy you trusted me enough to tell me all of this.”

Lance gulped and shrugged, his wings expanding slightly. Keith’s mirrored them. “What if _I_ wanted to ask you… to date me?” he whispered. Keith chuckled nervously and looked at Lance uncertainly. “I mean it.”

“Then ask me,” Keith said.

Lance smiled and bit his lip. “Do you… want to be my boyfriend?”

Keith smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I do. Very much.” Lance laughed and suddenly, Keith felt his arms wrap around him as Lance pulled him into a hug. They fell back against the ground in a fit of laughter and lightness. Keith laid on his side, Lance’s arm serving as a pillow. After getting approval, he had taken to stroking Lance’s wing gently where it was pressed under them as a cushion. One of Keith’s wings was brought in tightly, but the other spread out widely, beating gently in time with Lance’s free wing.

\---

After that wonderful day at the bayou-lake, Keith and Lance hung out more often during the week. Away from the friendship outings on Saturdays, they went to movies or carpooled for fast food. One day, Lance told Keith his family wanted to meet him, and they were going to have a cookout anyway.

Keith went, feeling a little nervous about meeting so many people. But Lance’s family was excited to meet him, and they were a very touchy family, hugging him with ease and giving him wide smiles.

Veronica was the one most intrigued by Keith, and she asked him tons of questions. Lance’s mother was a sweet looking woman and she showed him pictures of Lance when he was younger. The days he played on a soccer team, the time he won an attendance award at school, his first day of high school. Lance claimed embarrassment, but he didn’t try to pry Keith away. They just sat together, hand in hand, looking at the photo albums and reminiscing.

That day, they shared their first kiss. It was something incredible that shook Keith to his very core. The feathers of his wings rustled, and the pulsing in them became a pull that was too strong to resist. Their wings wrapped around each other of their own accord and it created a sense of vulnerable invincibility in Keith. He felt a wave of strength that he’d never felt before and he never wanted Lance’s lips to leave his own.

What surprised them was that when they opened their eyes, Lance’s eyes had been glowing and Lance said Keith’s were as well. Their wings finally parted and the residual shock from the experience mellowed out into a feeling of serenity.

It was easy to be with Lance. It was easy to talk to him and turn to him when he needed it. Keith didn’t feel afraid to let his guard down, to show all the emotions he felt when things went awry. Lance was so good with him, so good at maneuvering him. It just made sense. And when things went well and there was a cause for celebration, Lance was easily excitable and it made Keith feel like the most important person in the world.

Lance had come around to being comfortable enough to let Keith touch him without having to ask, and Keith often had his hand in Lance’s if he wasn’t stroking the damaged wings idly.

One day, well into Keith final year in college, Keith and Lance were huddled together on Keith’s couch watching reruns of Christmas movies on TV.

“Can I tell you something?” Lance yawned, pulling the blanket they had draped over them in a little tighter. Keith hummed and glanced up at him from where he was laying on his chest. “I saw you before you saw me.” Keith frowned and sat up, confused. “That day we met at the mall,” Lance clarified. “I saw you first. And I ran off, hiding from you.”

Keith scoffed and crossed his arms. “What are you talking about? Why?”

Lance took his hands and smiled. “I was getting food. And I heard the happiest laugh I’d ever heard in my life.” Keith groaned and felt his cheeks warm. “So I turned around and I saw you. I saw your wings. And I ran off without even explaining to Pidge and Hunk. I just… bolted.”

Keith grimaced and looked at his wings. “Yeah. These things are scary. I mean, they’re the most menacing color combination-”

“Not because of the color, you idiot,” Lance chided playfully. “It was the fact that I could see them at all that terrified me. It meant you’d be able to see mine. Pidge tried to convince me to just talk to you, but they had no idea how bad my wings were. They knew I was self-conscious about them, but I never really explained what they looked like. I had hoped I’d never find you.”

“Did you think I wouldn’t like you because of your wings?” Keith asked, holding Lance’s hand tightly.

Lance shook his head. “I thought maybe… you’d end up hurting me. A lot of people came into my life and caused so much pain. I was certain my soulmate would do the same.” Keith looked at Lance sadly and sighed. “I don’t know if you remember, but… you asked me if I was surprised that you were soulmate. And I said yes.” Keith nodded, recalling the first time they hung out. “I was surprised because your personality was completely different than I expected. I guess I thought I’d end up with someone who would treat me like the people I’d been running away from. But you didn’t do that. You were so good to me from the start.”

Keith smiled and leaned in to kiss him lightly on the lips. “I never want you to feel that fear again,” he whispered.

Lance hummed and kissed him back, nipping lightly at his lower lip. “Okay, alright, so…. A lighter subject. I have a question for you and it’ll probably freak you out.” Keith frowned and pulled back, looking at Lance nervously. “See you’re already scared!”

Keith rolled his eyes. “Come on, what’s the question?”

“Would you… ever want kids?”

Keith froze, staring at Lance in shock. He had no idea what he expected, but he knew it wasn’t that. “Kids?” he repeated. Lance nodded. “Um. I never thought about it. I don’t know if I have what it takes to be a dad.” He looked at Lance pushed his hair back. Lance’s eyes fluttered at the touch. “But if I’m gonna be with you? Then yeah. I think we could raise some awesome kids.”

Lance smiled and bit his lip. “Cool. Because I’ve always wanted kids. But we can talk about that later. Way, way later.”

Keith laughed and nodded. “Okay, my turn for a scary question.” Lance arched an eyebrow. “Would you ever want to get married?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “If I want kids, then duh! Come on, that’s not scary.”

“Wow, okay. Alright, alright, let me try again.” Lance huffed and looked at Keith with a teasing smile. Keith bit his lip nervously and touched Lance’s cheek. He swallowed and looked into Lance’s eyes. “Do you love me?”

Lance’s expression dropped.

Keith wasn’t sure if he should move away or not, especially since Lance had decided to freeze, which meant keeping a hold of his grip on Keith’s sides. Keith looked into Lance’s eyes and tried not to panic at the way he was staring back at him.

“You can say no,” Keith reminded him gently.

“I…. I- I mean you’re my soulmate.”

“Yeah,” Keith said with a smile. “Which is why it’s okay if you don’t love me yet.”

Lance’s eyebrow knit together and he kept stammering, shushing Keith’s reassurances that he didn’t have to say yes. “Keith, I- wow. Um…. I’ve loved a lot of people. But I’ve never known what it was to love someone romantically.” Keith nodded, understanding. Lance stared at him quietly. “Do you love me?”

Keith hesitated for a second before he nodded. “I know I want my future with you. I know I feel comfortable with you. Seeing you makes me happy and being near you makes me happy. I want to make you happy every day, and I want to be whatever you need me to be. I still can’t believe that I was lucky enough to have a soulmate so amazingly selfless and wonderful. Someone who would become my stability. I know I want to experience everything with you. And I understand if you’re scared, I get that. Which is why I’m telling you it’s okay if you don’t love me yet. Because I know you will someday.”

Lance leaned forward and cupped Keith’s face, kissing him lightly. On his forehead, on his eyelids, on his nose. His lips brushed against Keith’s and in a soft breath, he said, “I do love you.” Keith opened his eyes, doubt coating his features. “I want all of that too. I feel all of that. I was terrified of letting you close to me, or bringing you into my life, but now I can’t imagine my life without you. My wings didn’t scare you away. You stayed, and you made me see them as more than damage. You made them sound beautiful. You make me feel strong when I feel like I’m too broken. And you make me feel loved. Every day. And maybe I won’t show it as much as you want me to every day, but I love you, I do.”

Keith nodded, suddenly desperate to kiss him again. He pressed his lips to Lance’s, pulling him closer and letting that feeling of what he knew now was pure, unadulterated love. Their wings pulled towards each other like magnets.

Only this time, they both an electric shot course through the point of contact to the very tips of their wings. They fell apart and Keith tried to shake off the shock. Lance on the other hand doubled over and groaned.

“Lance? Lance!”

He staggered, trying to stand. Keith went to try and help him up, but a bright shimmering from his wings made him freeze. Lance let out a shout of pain that made Keith want to cover his ears. Then the scream faded into a gasp. Lance breathed heavily as his wings continued to shimmer, spreading until they were fully expanded. The light faded away and Keith gaped, frozen to his spot.

Lance was breathing heavily, struggling to stand. Keith hurried over and helped him up, checking him for any injuries. “Lance. Your wings.”

Lance spread his wings tentatively. What had one been a pair of torn, bruised, scarred, nearly featherless wings was now a beautiful, large pair of multicolored wings with soft new feathers that shone silky and smooth. Shades of red and blue melded into purple. No more bent wing, no more tattered membrane, no more proof of the damage that had followed Lance for so long.

“Are you okay?” Keith asked, looking at him worriedly.

“Y-yeah,” he said breathlessly. “What… why did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” Keith admitted. “Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.”

Lance looked at him and smiled. “Hurt me? Keith I think… I think you helped heal me.” His wings began to beat steadily, gently in the confines of the apartment. “Could I get another kiss?”

Keith smiled and threw his arms around him as he pulled him into a kiss, his own wings beating in rhythm with his soulmate’s.


End file.
